The other day, I went to the optometrist again. This time round, I managed to persuade my dad to get a new specs as his current is not good enough anymore for reading. My dad is very thrifty on things like these. As long as still can use, why get new ones? I often see him sitting near the light or outside when the sun light is bright enough just to read the papers.
Towards the end of the eye check, I felt a bit emo. The optometrist said my dad's eyes are weak, even the best glasses for him would not be good enough. As cruel as it might sound, it's a fact.
He doesn't have cataracts but due to old age, he would soon have difficulty in reading. This can be corrected by surgery but do I still want to put my dad through it? I felt selfish at that point. I spent a large amount of money on Lasik and yet, I never really cared enough for both my parents.
At that point, I ponder, have I wasted my money? Why didn't I give more thoughts on their well-being?
I do feel the stress. I'm scared that I can't take care of them well enough. All I cared most of the time was my next holiday. And all I whined about is my job. My parents are doing the same thing of half of their life and yet they never complaint. I feel very guilty and emotional. Sigh...
It's not easy to say sorry and it's not any easier to express how much you love your parents. Sometimes, words are not enough. I don't know how to continue this post anymore...just hope both my parents will have
a happy and healthy road ahead....
4 comments:
do what you can to the best of your ability.
they do not wish to see you unhappy which in turn will cause them to be unhappy too :)
it's not necessary to judge your filiality on how much money u spend. simple little things like talk to them, have dinner with them also counts. and, i think u are doing a great job. don't be too sad.
maybe, a hug every morning? hmm, might scare your dad ... hehehe ...
what's done, done. Dwelling on guiltiness make you more unhappy indirectly they can sense it, I'm sure this is not what you want :).
sometimes it may not be as what you see / what it seems...
parents are the happiest when children are happy & healthy.
parents loves us unconditionally and do not measure / judge us.
every little single gestures / words as long as it's from their children will make their day.
having said that, imho, like cy said, you're doing a great job so far .. do not be too hard on yourself. Take one day at a time ... your parents understand you best.
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