S.O.S

When you know you are drowning and you are too tired to scream for help, what else can you do?

When you want to give up but is too afraid to do so, what else can you do?

When you know you are loathing yourself for feeling like shit, what else can you do?

In times like this, I choose to be ignorant. It's foolish, but it just feel a lot better to hide it. Foolish I know but I believe one day it will all be fine.

I must learn to count my blessings and look at the things that make me happy.

I can't wait for a new year but then, everyday can be a new year to stat afresh. I don't know what I want but I know what I don't want. But yet, I have no other choice.

To my dear self - Hang in there, stay afloat in the dark and the sun will shine again.

Hazed

For real...
This year has got to be one of the worst. But like my colleague said, we don't know yet! It might get worse every year from now on.
What can, we as civilians do about it? Sigh....When no one on the top is taking it seriously...

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Ventricular ectopics

A little more than a month ago, I had a scare.
I was having palpitations/ irregular heartbeat for over a week. It was the second time I am feeling it but the first only lasted two days. It wasn't like the fast heartbeat when you are about to meet your crush or your favourite movie star. It's hard to describe, like a forced heartbeat that you can feel.
Initially, I brushed it off thinking it will go away after 2 days but it did not. It was not painful or anything but just discomfort as I can feel the forced heartbeat 2 or 3 times in a minute. It's more to annoyance.
The weird thing is I can feel it more when I am sitting down - in office, in the car. When I am active and going about more active tasks, I don't feel it that much.
I went to do a thorough check up. First, a Q&A session with the doc. Then a blood test, followed by ultrasound and ECG of the heart. I was put on a stress test as well. Doc asked me how long I can run, and he really stressed my heart to the max. I was panting and sweating in a fully air conditioned room.
All the tests turned out negative. My heart is fine. So what could be causing it? The Doc then asked me to put on a Holter to monitor my heartbeat for 24 hours. I had wires all over my body for the next 24 hours and I still need to go back to the office. Luckily for me, the clothes I wore that day can conceal it.
That also means no shower for the day...yucks...after all the sweating earlier...
The results next day shows that I indeed have a thing called ventricular ectopics. It's benign and I have nothing to worry about. Causes can be caffeine, stress. So I was on doc's order to avoid coffee for 2 weeks. I managed to refrain myself for 5 days. I felt it less and less until I decided to just try a small cup of latte. And it really came back. Luckily it was gone the next day.
I don't consider myself a coffee addict but I do get the cravings now and then. It's been more than two weeks now that I am back on coffee. More on the local coffee that is. I tried a cup of latte again a couple of days ago and nothing happened. Yay...

It's itching again

After a long hiatus, I finally got the itch to blog again.
Blogging is somehow consider outdated now as we have other social media platforms that is more real time and up to date. But still, nothing can beat blogging.
Wondering if anyone out there is still reading this? :P
Keep tuned in for more updates!

王力宏 Wang Leehom《七十億分之一》"7 Billion to 1" Official MV

Love love love....to all the special people in my life. Each of you means a lot...good or bad, you made up part of my life.

Ecoworld Starlight Concert 2015

It was quite an impromptu decision to go to the Starlight Concert organised by Ecoworld. I knew about it when it was published in the newspaper much earlier but I didn't really wanted to go as it's free standing. I think I am too old for the crowd. LOL...
Well, anyway, I got my ticket from Homaniacs. And at first I thought of going alone as I only have one ticket. Then when CY said she wanted to join, I might as well try my luck and got 4 tickets from EcoWorld sales gallery. And that's just a week before the event.
So, last Saturday, 31st Jan, we had a satisfying dinner of hokkien mee at Bandar Mahkota Cheras before braving the traffic to Semenyih. It was one of the longest traffic I've been in all my life. Two- and-a-half freaking hours. CY's car almost gave way due to overheating but luckily we are near to our destination at that time. Many a times we wanted to turn back but the destination seemed so near.
When we reach there about 9-ish, we were worried that the show might be ending soon. It didn't help either when the place we were allowed to park is so far away from ground zero. No sound, no lights from as far as we can hear and see. Luckily, shuttle buses were provided. I really love how they are so well organised. Frequent buses in a few stations all over Eco Majestic to ferry people to the event ground. And the whole place is huge.
So we go there just in time for him. Yes, him. Lee Hom (pic courtesy of Homaniacs).

It was worth the long butt-numbing drive. It was worth the hours wasted in the car. We were so near to the front of the stage and could see him clearer than paying for his concerts. He sang quite a number of songs, giving the best performances, as he always does. We were ecstatic.
All in all, it was a birthday present to me...well, sort of.
Anyway, kudos the the EcoWorld team for making it a huge successful event. Do visit their new township in Semenyih. Looks really nice. 

Volunteering is fun!

It was my first time volunteering with World Vision and I am quite impressed. The event was well organised. From the program on the day, to crowd control to the volunteers' welfare, everything is well taken care of. Kudos to the team for managing the event well.

I've always had a thing for events management. I like to plan and get everything perfectly in place. I couldn't help thinking if I can just forego my current job and join World Vision in setting up charity events and booth and visiting sponsored children around the world...Sigh, wishful thinking

I've met some very unique people on that day. Some are really dedicated and enthusiatic on their given tasks, some are less, some are very outspoken on what they want and some are very passionate in helping others.

It was an eye opening event. Not only on the day's event but also on the objectives of World Vision.
It's very heart wrenching to see some videos on how some children have to live their lives. We are indeed very fortunate to have what we have now.

To learn more about World Vision - visit
https://www.worldvision.com.my/Pages/default.aspx

Happy birthday?

And so it was my birthday yesterday.
No celebration, no special arrangements. To be honest, I am a bit disappointed at first but come to think of it, there's no need to be.
I have all my loved ones beside me, simple dinner, simple cake and simple pressie from hubby. That's enough.
I think I am getting too old for all those stuff.
And I think my birthday should a special day for my mum. It's the day she went for hours and hours of labor pain. The day when she first hold me in her arms after 9 long months.
So mum, I've grown up. I might not be the perfect daughter, I might always be teasing and talking back to you but despite all those, you are the best mum in the world to me. Thanks for supporting through all those years.

Smell the roses

The article below is so true. I am beginning to really like the author.

Read here.

I am a nervous freak when it comes to travel planning. I have too much worries. I want to have everything planned out and written down in paper. I have the mentality that we must cover the top 10 tourist-y places to go/ things to do. Everything has to be according to plan and if it doesn't go well, it's a disappointment.

I guess that applies to my life events too. And in the end, I feel unhappy and disappointed as things aren't happening the way I am expecting it.

Time to let go. Take it slow, smell the roses, touch the green green grass and just enjoy the moment. Easier said than done.

Grumpy old woman

I think I am doomed to become a grumpy old woman. I am getting grumpier as I age. Sad but true.

Take for example, I get very stressed up at small things nowadays. I cannot wait for things to get done and if it is not up to my standard, I tend to be angry and disappointed. I wasn't like this before.

People used to tell me I am a very patient person.

Like yesterday, I really could not stand the bad service from the shop I am buying lunch, I told her that her service is like shit and cancelled my order. Then, on the way back from work, if we are using the LRT, we have to cross the pedestrian bridge and at the bottom of the staircase, there is a narrow walkway about 2 meters long that can only fit one person. So, it can only be a one way traffic at a time. I was already half way through when this Indian lady from the opposite direction started walking as well. She should have backed out since I was in first. But she didn't. So both of us got stucked in the middle. I said excuse me loudly but she ignored it. WTF..I really wanted to tell her off but there are people waiting behind me. No choice, I have to squeeze my way through. In the process, I pushed her against the wall. I don't care.

See, my patience is getting thinner.

I really hope I don't become a grumpy old woman. Change of mindset and attitude...

New Year 2015

Where the hell did 2014 go? Can't believe it's already 2015 today.

This blog has been abandoned for quite some time I know...but yet, I still feel reluctant to close it down. It's nostalgic reading back on old blog posts. Evoke quite a lot of memories.

So back to 2014. This post might come a bit late (just a tiny bit late)..but here's a quick summary of 2014 for me.

Family - we had a scare early in the new. Spent Chinese New Year in the hospital accompanying my dad. Thank God he's fine now but I know age is catching up fast. Spent more time with family this year.

Career - Nothing much in this space. Same old same old. Starting to lose purpose in this job. Need more motivation for this year. Good thing is, I still got to travel last year, which is lucky for me.Once a while travelling for business is good for the soul.

Wealth - Managed to get our first house...yay! But it ain't easy and we are still learning to manage it.

Health - Age is slowing me down. Literally. Seriously. My dream of running a full marathon is further and further away. Hubs had been in the hospital down with dengue and it was a tough time for me. I have been to the hospital more times last year than I've ever had. And I didn't manage to lose weight. In fact, I gained.

Personal development - Finding more and more flaws in myself but making big steps to improve.

I am ready for 2015. Bring it on.

Happy New Year and stay tuned for my updates!